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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Too many blog friends are depressed...

... and this is so hard not being able to do anything. I'm still sad. If I went to a psychiatrist for the first time I'm sure he would diagnose and prescribe.
I know my reasons to be sad and I'm just concerned because I should go to my therapist, I know what I have to do but strangely enough I don't want to. Go figure! I don't want to stay this way but I don't want to do anything. Perhaps I want to stay sad. It's comfortable I'm not responsible. Don't you hate yourself when you have to face these kind of traps you do? Why?
But it's not about my sadness I want to talk.
I talking about depression, the real thing that don't leave room for taking a shower, take a glimpse at the weather, pay attention on a movie... we know the symptoms.
It's hard.
It seems that all automatic actions require thinking. I can remember my depressed days brought by psych-drugs - I believe that what I'm feeling has a little help from this thing but it's not that serious.
How lonely we feel. People don't understand and there comes the advices: "Take a walk." "Find a job." we all know the marvellous collection of solutions people have.
If you're experiencing this I don't know what to say.
I just want you to know that many people in this virtual world care about you.
I'm one of them.

5 comments:

Wendy said...

I have been in a downward spiral for weeks now. Yesterday, my therapist said to me "Don't you want to be happy?" WTF??? The loneliness hits me harder than the depression, the misguided advice to eat well, take care of yourself, and get some exercise, this will pass just tend to piss me off and make me more miserable to be around... Thanks for your email - knowing someone cares helps.

Anonymous Drifter said...

You're a very compassionate person Ana.

Mike Golch said...

As Tennisee Ernie Ford used to say,"bless your pea pickin heart!"
I hope that you are having a great weekend!-Mike G.said that (It's an A.A.thing)

Jena (Violet) said...

I know all too well the symptoms that go along with depression. It is so uncomfortable, so awful, so horrible. I sincerely hope that anyone, including you, can escape that prison very soon. Love, Jena

Ana said...

Wendy,
I had two sessions with a therapist who said something like this and other stuffs.
I didn't go back. The therapist I had the lucky to find is not that shallow. One might say:
"Why are you feeling this way if you have been on therapy?" I would not be "this way". If it wasn't for therapy I guess I would be terrible.
The loniness is real. I will try to write on this in another post.
Stay blessed

Anonymou Drifter,
We have to be because we are selfish. :)

Mike,
I admire A.A. work but know nothing about it.
I'll visit your blog to see if you say something.
Thank you!

Jena,
Yes, you said it all: it's like prison.
I hope it too.
We deserve that.
Love,
Ana