Monday, February 23, 2009

One of the reasons depressed people are alone

When we are depressed we have a time of our own. Sometimes it's impossible to connect with others or even answer the phone. But it's not like this the whole day. Those who care understand it and are beside you during the time you are able to be among others.
However the vast majority of people who are depressed, or who have been depressed in the past, are lonely.
There are many reasons but I like to name just one: other people fear their own sadness and run from it no matter what it takes. Some people work all the time not to think about their sorrows; some keep themselves busy with no matter what... there are plenty ways to avoid sadness. Many people say "Don't cry" when you feel like crying.
This is funny. Yoy cannot express your emotion. So don't laugh when you hear a good joke.
While I was listening to the Pink Floyd's "Great gig in the sky" I left on the post below I remembered the feeling and started to cry because of those times and because of today.
I don't fear sadness and I believe most of us have learned how to cope with it. The hard is to cope with depression, the disease.
As most people think that depression=sadness and nothing more they don't want to be near anything that can trigger their own sad feelings.
I've been told many times not to blog on mental health and that I should do something of valuable with my life - the same reason: this is not a happy subject and worse, I'm not receiving money for doing it.
I've noticed that these advices were on my shoulder and while I'm posting, reading other people's blog or researching this sad subject I did it with these advices in the back of my mind. Okay! Perhaps one day I will stop bloging or doing it once a week. But now I believe I still have something to say and if I feel sad it's my problem.
I also laugh and I only talk to people in real - I'm not real while I'm here - life when I'm glad.

Update: the main reason is that people don't understand the disease. That's what disease awareness campaign should explain but they are concerned in diagnosing and selling drugs, not on explaining clinical depression. If they did it they would not be able to prescribe psych-drugs for those who are not clinically depressed.


Anonymous Drifter said...

It's hard to be alone when you're depressed and like you say, there are many reasons for it. I've actually seen people have an angry response towards the depression of others. I believe that many people don't understand true depression anyway. They equate it with a case of the blues which should clear up quickly. Depression is more than sadness.

Ana said...

This is the main reason? people really don't understand.

preciousrock said...

Very true words, Ana. Depression is so much more than sadness and is very, very lonely. Sadness we can recover from and live to be sad again, but depression is a curtain between us and the world.

Ana said...

Hi PreciouRock,
We missed you!
Yes, it's like a curtain. One can't hardly see. Watching a beautiful day aches because one can not relate to that.

Stan said...

Dear Ana:

I'm not sure if I should be serious or not here? OK, you know me, I choose the latter! And just maybe a little mixes of both!

Depression is more than just a state; but it also is a calling out of self. I have personally been there and done that in the misery of time! Maybe it will hit me again and maybe it won't in all honesty.
I do know that I embraced the beast fully and learned the delicate dance that can give you an empowered place to allow other states to co-exist with the morose. Now if depression is behind curtain # 1 (Carol Barrel show us what's behind the curtain now), then maybe it's time to choose to be outside the box (Yes, I pick the box, Bob) and allow the just be to grow to being. Though the real trick is giving this melancholy gloom only the place and strength in our lives it really deserves. I know that sounds way over simplified.
But I have learned through time, it is the simple steps we take and the simple miracles all around us that can draw away from this place of alone and isolation. Change like action is seldom easy, and most times like trying to pull a stubborn Donkey up a long and endless hill. But practice doesn't make perfect; it does make us move toward our passion and dreams. That over this journey means life not freedom of suffering; but a life that includes the whole rainbow that was always there for us to experience from the very beginning. If depression amounts to the weight of a mountain, then the gift of our lives is the key to moving this very mountain to a place of comfort and understanding. Many times the mountains we see that as impassable, are just obstacles we choose to create because it we lose our selves in the Fear of judgment.

Now go over to the whiners’ blog and have a little cheese with this. Then stop and smell the cow pies and remember there are friends and those that care. Find your impetus to begin the journey down all the pathways of your life. That can't be found in a pill, or talked through with even a professional trusted stranger. It's a journey found within and then given with care to others as the story goes forth to its conclusion and final chapter written.


Mark Krusen said...

Depression sux!

Ana said...

I've been depressed as side effect of psych-drugs.
It's hard. I've seen and see many people reporting their hell's season and we know how hard it's to say something to lift them up. Yes, no pill can fix it.

It sux!

Mike Golch said...

people do not understand depression and some chose not to deal with someone depresses,and that there as those who depression will drive a wedge between them and family.

Ana said...

Family member are affected. Some people understand others don't.
It's too sad because when someone is depressed fear is around and it's good to have support.

Stan said...

Choose the deafness and miss the wonder of music, miss the birds sweet song, miss everything in life!

It's ok really, choose to miss out on it all.

Funny thing how the power to choose works?

Stephany said...

All I know is how I have been. All of the events that took me down for the count (father killed, daughter psych ward, bankruptcy, and more)were life changes/events.

Start there. Examine life, and how you feel today. Did you lose a job? a family member? feel life has past you by? not achieve your real dream?

Then start over.

Take it from today, there is no other way to do it. Don't look for people/friends or lovers to fill voids. Nothing can ultimately give us inner joy but self-respect and self-acceptance.

Take the anger(another facet of depression)from being harmed by psych meds or doctors and channel that energy out.

It's all an energy force. I hit the wine bottle hard during the summer, and I ignored the mailbox.

But I kept moving. I forced myself to examine what the hell I want out of life and you know what?

Life is just too short to not take it by the balls and live!

I feel lucky to be here today, I feel the cloud over my head sometimes, I know the crappy way this feels.

But I know, also, that I don't want to wait to be 50 or 55 or 60 or 65 to finally realize I lost time.

I'm 49, and I have a lot of skydiving to do.

Step one: trust yourself.

Stan said...

Dear Ana:

I know you read a lot of blogs where they say this withdrawal victim syndrome will never end. They are damaged beyond repair and are not willing to see through any other set of glasses which could spell hope; which along with it bring self determination and real responsibility.

I say in my fair opinion many of those choose to not let it end. They trade one label for another of their own making this time around.

I can understand withdrawal and its effects, because I have done it. Three months, six months, when does the conclusion ever come?

It's as if many have deeded over their souls to psychiatry, but in real fact the deed is still sitting on their bed side table waiting to be taken back; yet it sits there in the form of a bottle owning them still. No more battles to wage, the war given for loss. How sad it all is in truth.

I know that this is a pretty bitter pill to swallow so to speak, but do they really want platitudes or empowerment?

Tough choice, tough pain, tough suffering, tough love!


Ana said...

I'm not depressed. I'm not missing life, I'm listening to music.
I wrote this post because I remember being depressed, not sad, depressed and I wanted to say something about it.
I meet depressed people in real life on a regular basis because I live in front of two mental institutions.
My ex-husband suffered 1 year of depression and I thought that he could do a little effort, try hard to do things.
Than he became maniac and has to be institutionalized.
Now I see that I was unfair to him.
These are the reasons I wrote on depression.
Withdrawal is as experience different for every person. I've spent 19 months tapering off Effexor and felt all withdrawal symptoms during this time.
After three months off Effexor I had to put people that I didn't knew in my house because I was feeling many withdrawal symptoms.
I had to go back to Effexor.
If I miss a dose I feel terrible. That's all.
I know I'm a strong person. I never gave up and survived two drug-induce suicidal attempts.
I believe I didn't make myself clear.
I will feel sadness for the rest of my life as I always felt. No big deal. But major depression I never felt but I see people for years in this hell.
I was depressed because I was trying to withdraw Effexor. I took it back and I'm not feeling that way. Now I see the lack of energy and lethargy I was feeling was the 37,5 mg I was trying to withdraw two times a week.

Ana said...

Carpe diem!

Ana said...

I forgot to say that I felt sad the moment I was writing this post.
But it's normal sadness: the thing we can call the normal change of mood during the day.
We cry, the other minute we are glad...
I've always been like this.

Stephany said...

yes, seize the day! ((HUGS))