Friday, August 22, 2008

Frustration, agony, sadness...

Tears come to my eyes very often when I'm reading or commenting on sites and blogs.
I don't visit too much blogs for those I go have so many informations and I spend so much time reading them that if I go to others I will do nothing but sitting in front of this monitor.
I feel sad, and cry, for two reasons:
-seeing my blog buddies suffering with little help from their treatments;
-seeing that after so many time with all you are all writing, all the effort there are so little changes and how hard it's to make truth appears in the eyes of public opinion.
It's heartbreaking. I cry.
I keep on wondering why am I so connected with this issue.
I could forget it all. I'm fine. I'll just have to be on three drugs for life but I'm fine. I'm happy with myself and balanced.
My friends tell me that I should move on and forget about it all. They don't even know I'm blogging. Yep! I don't tell them.
They will not understand.
The thing is: I've suffered a lot and I acquired this knowledge so that I could choose the best for me.
I cannot pretend that nothing has happened and I cannot stop thinking that other people are going to be prescribed drugs that cause lots of risks.
At least the children.
I once heard on a movie that the Cabala says: "God count the tears of women."
He has already counted a lot from me. He will still be counting till I see that some changes are on the way.


Stephany said...

Dear Ana,

God then must have lost count when counting mine and your tears! I agree, the children are innocent and need to remain that way. Change takes time, and in the case of psychiatry and pharma, it's a change within families and care providers that will have to begin first.
Marketing and profit will always be in the picture because that's the way of this world.

But we can speak out, and the more we do, you may never know how many, even if it is just one person, who learned from you, and for that, you can smile. Just knowing you helped by writing. I believe your voice is important, so keep speaking out.


Ana said...

Thank you for saying that my voice is important.
"We shall never surrender."
I'll keep on speaking out.

Ana said...

PS: Perhaps He didn't lost count. He just have stopped counting because we have enough credit.
THe children...

preciousrock said...

Dear Ana,
I am grateful that no matter how bad things get here on earth that God will never lose count of anything. He knows and feels the suffering of all the children, but man does what man does best and mucks things up and destroys the beauty of all God created.

I too am only able to keep up with a few blogs because because I spend far too much time at the computer as it is. It is so difficult to read that people you care about are in such pain and that they see no way out. I'm just happy that we have a community here and can be supportive of one another and know that we are not alone. Never alone.

Ana said...

I don't understand His mysterious ways. Human nature is very strange, isn't it
I also feel happy we can share our problems.
It's very hard being alone and thinking that nobody can understand us.
Perhaps this is one of the best sides of Internet. Uniting people.