>

Friday, March 06, 2009

Agoraphobia - I've been there and assure you it will go away

I forgot it but I've been agoraphobic for two times. Strangely enough when I started taking clonazepam panic attacks were among of one of the side effects and it got worse when I was prescribed Tofranil to help get out off clonazepam but the effect was a huge anxiety that was diagnosed as mental disease by other psychiatrist as I can analyze now in retrospect.
The last time I was agoraphobic lasted eight months and I remember it because the first time I went out I stopped to have a coffee and felt so happy I was able to be at the streets that I talked to a woman: "This is the first time I come out in eight months."
I remember watching films and seeing people walking at the streets made me cry because I thought I was never going out anymore.
I want to tell those who are agoraphobic now that it will go away. I don't remember it and now when I close the door to go out I don't remember the numerous pain minutes I stared at the door, started crying and sometimes I gave up and stayed home.
One of the methods that I created was going out near home to buy something I wanted or needed. I kept thinking on that object and it made it easier to be focus on one thing.
Being at the streets when you are like this is very painful. The floor seems uneven, third dimension is not very clear and you are always alert because you're sure that sooner or later a panic attack will catch you and you will feel in hell again thinking that you will gonna lose your mind and all those awful symptoms.
I used to stop in front of any shop window and payed attention on each object or I entered and started to talk to the seller.
But for eight months it was almost impossible to leave home.
I don't remember it. I'm just writing it for those who are suffering it now. You see? It goes away, just keep remembering it.

9 comments:

Mark p.s./Mark p.s.2 said...

I had this fear when day-light saving starts in the fall. The clocks go forward an hour and it is then darker much sooner in the day.
The darkness of night arriving seemed all of a sudden frightening, where a day earlier I did not notice.

Like the expression get back on the horse after you fall off, I pushed through the fear and it diminished. I could have just as easily let it grow and snowball.

Sarah♥ said...

I've been waiting almost 11 years for it to go away!

Ana said...

Mark,
I'm really glad you did fight it!

Sarah,
I'm very sorry you've been so long dealing with this problem.
Hope you have been in good hands.
Love,
Ana

Jena said...

I've had a panic attack that has sent me to shelter where I wasn't able to recover for a few days, but I was virtually hiding under a table, afraid of my life. It was accompanied by psychosis. It was horrible. But I have never had true agoraphobia. That sounds so disabling and painful. My heart goes out to anyone who has suffered from that condition.

Ana said...

Jena,
I'm fortunate to have overcome it in a way that I cannot remember it any longer.
I even didn't remember to write about it.
I wrote it because I met too people that are trying to recover.
It's a process but most people go out of it.
Sarah's experience of being 11 years dealing with it is the first time I've heard of such a long time to recover.
I'm sorry you had this experience of panic.
Love,
Ana

Robert said...

My wife, Marie, became agoraphobic at around the age of 13. It has worsened much since then, with periods where things are a little better.

She's 30 now. But still hopeful that her agoraphobia can be conquered.

A fellow blogger, Raven from "Views from the Raven's nest" has been agoraphobic almost all her life. She's a pensioner...

However, most agoraphobia sufferers overcome it, at least to a degree. So there's always hope for sufferers like Sarah and Marie.

preciousrock said...

Thankfully, I have never been agoraphobic, but clonazepam gave me panic attacks also.

Stephany said...

I don't like it getting dark earlier like Mark wrote about, it gives me anxiety for some reason. But, spring is almost here! yay for more daylight.

Ana said...

Robert,
I always thought that agoraphobia was a symptom and not a disease itself. It was not of any help what I've written to your wife and for Sarah and Marie.
I will have to search for this.
I'm sorry I didn't know that.
Yours truly,
Ana

PreciousRock
Isn't it amazing that they give you more and more clonazepam to "treat" anxiety when all we needed was getting off of it.

Stephany,

Good for you both. And here it will get darker sooner.
This is the second time we exchange ideas on the new season.
Enjoy spring!

Love,
Ana