Friday, December 19, 2008


As strange as it may seems I never realized how lonely I've been.


Fiddy said...

Keep your chin up Ana.

Tribute to you and all the other ladies who campaign on my blog :-)



Ana said...

Thank you Fid!
This is very empowering and we need it from time to time.

Radagast said...

I guess that underlines the importance of having a support network! Lonely, or just alone? It's difficult for me to tell the difference, sometimes!


Ana said...

You made me realize that I'm alone.
Meaning: I have nobody. No family, no friends...
I've spent my childhood as if I was invisible.
It was hard. But I used to play and have fun by myself. All of this I left in my therapy. It don't bother me.
Now I feel isolated dealing with problems that other people don't understand and don't even want to hear about. They want me to "forget it and move on"
I'm confused.
I'm also feeling very tired.
Exhausted. I guess I have to sleep and rest.
I'm a little lost.
I'm on the verge of 50.
I guess it has something to due with this number.
Yesterday I was 31.
I've spent so much time feeling side effects, withdrawal... blah blah blah... that my life has stopped.
Jesus! I'm really confused.

susan said...

Sweetie, PM me with your phone number.

It's only 2 cents a minute for me to call.

Stephany said...

I'm 50 in 7 days, and understand what you are saying here Ana.

Stephany said...

oops! i'm going to be 49 in 7 days! it's ok i can still do math! lol

Ana said...

I've spend this whole year telling people I'm 50. LOL
Forty nine is too long and in Portuguese:
Fifty! Better.

I'll e-mail you.

Radagast said...

As a general rule, I think, people struggle to cope with their own sadness, and don't like to be reminded of it. In other words, they haven't reconciled the stuff that causes them pain, and don't wish to be reminded of it.

The odd thing is, though, if one finds somebody in a similar situation, one can generally gain an alternative perspective. If nothing else, knowing that a particular issue is not peculiar to oneself is generally of enormous comfort.

Incidentally, the reason adults ignore their children is very simple, I think: children live in an alien world, and it is actually quite stressful to try to learn about it, particularly when it bears no particular relevance to one's own. What's more children think *very* fast, and keeping up with them is a real challenge. Most adults, of course, tend to tell their children that what they have to say is "silly," or to otherwise invalidate them. Small wonder that children grow into adults in the confirmed belief that they are uninteresting...

That is, of course, just a theory! And you're only alone if you wish to perceive yourself like that.


Ana said...

Thank you Matt!
I'm not feeling alone anymore.