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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My life under psychiatric drugs

I try hard not to think about it. But I feel terrible knowing that I'll have to take these drugs for the rest of my life. I also think about what kind of changes these things I don't need to take because I've never been depressed or manic or nothing are promoting in my body.
As I already said I've spend two years of my life withdrawing Effexor and felt all withdrawal symptoms. It was hell and I had to go back to the drug because I felt physical and emotional things that I cannot even describe. I only could withdraw 400 mg of Seroquel and clonazepam, the drug that led me to a psychiatrist in search for help to withdraw and made of me a psychiatric patient because of the wrong prescription of an antidepressant and side effects were seen as diseases by other psychiatrist... blah blah... sick to death of this story.
I have to go home at midnight and if I plan to travel I have to think about the drugs I'll have to carry if I spend three days without these drugs I'll be put on a mental institution yadda yadda.... I'll have to ask for prescriptions to buy these drugs forever.
You know it all.
But not the people I know. They don't have a clue about what has happened to me.
Trying to withdraw it all over again?
I'm 49 and 9 months, 50 years old.
I would live withdrawal hell for the rest of my life?
These and other questions and feelings come to my mind from time to time.

7 comments:

Tracy said...

Wow. Thank you for talking what you've experienced.

susan said...

I understand Ana.

I am sorry you have experienced all this too.

Sending you hugs from a cold, rainy place.

preciousrock said...

I know, I know, Ana. It's an annoying viscious circle and so much fun having to think about carting meds everywhere you go. I would definitely be locked up if I forgot my meds for 3 days.

Ana said...

Tracy,
I've some posts on my saga. I have to make a list of them and put it on the side bar.

Thank you Susan and PreciouRock!
That's the way it's.
I just wanted to be warned that this things are addictive.
But they keep on saying it's not.

Immi said...

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this Ana.

Ana said...

Immi,
You're so sweet!
It's nothing compared with some people are dealing.

Anonymous said...

I've been on psych meds since I was a child. I was put on psych meds at 7 years old. I'm 21 now. For 14 years I was put on every psych med you could think of. My last cocktail was Effexor, Concerta, seroquel, Klonopin, Dexedrine and Lamictal for generalized anxiety disorder and ADD. I got off them cold turkey. However, I was always on very low doses of all psych meds. Risperdal and abilify had the most intense side effects. I loved the stimulants and amphetamines, though, and enjoyed using them to get high. However, those atypical antipsychotics had some crazy side effects. Risperdal and Abilify had the most intense side effects. My very first med cocktail when I was 7 years old was Ritalin and Prozac and it just kept changing and increasing every year until I had been on everything.