>

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Do it for her...


...and to try to stop it from happening again.
Sometimes I ask myself why I've chosen her photo and why I don't change it.
She took her life because of drug-induce suicidal ideation and I have experienced the feeling and will never forget it.
I'm brunette and there's something in her eyes, eyebrows and nose that have a resemblance with me.

I want you to think of me smiling although dealing with all of this bring tears to my eyes most of the time.

14 comments:

Fiddy said...

Ana,

You are a remarkable human being. You seem to be the sole voice in Brazil and for that you must take strength in the fact that you ARE making a difference.

There should be more people like you in this world Ana. Too many people sit back and do nothing, they expect others to do it for them.

Every single blog/website that has been created to spread awareness will be in cyberspace forever more, a testament to those who stood up... and were counted.

Respect.

Fid

Stephany said...

((hugs))) Ana

Ana said...

Thank you Fiddy and Stephany!

susan said...

Ana, I am going to repeat what the wise Fiddy has said. I too suffer from suicidal ideation, and it is hard to hold on. Some times I just can surf the web until it passes, and I come across your blog, or a post of yours on someone else's blog, and I see the picture, of a girl who's life was cut way to short by the drug I am currently on and cannot get off. And i wonder why I can fight it, and she succumbed.

And I cry.

I do not know of any other blogger in the blogosphere that writes about the mental health issues in Brazil. At least, none that I know of who write in English. You are making a difference, and touching lives. When you feel down, just go for a walk with Nell, make yourself a cup of tea, read a book and take a break from the computer. It's all good. We understand.

Regarding what you look like- I know you are really
Adriana Lima. You just don't want the guys who read you to have heart attacks drooling over your photo!

Ana said...

Susan,
Today I did a research and found out that Tracy took her life while withdrawing Cymbalta at Eli-Lily's facilities and following their guidance.
Please, sweetie!
Take care.
I don't know what kind of suicidal ideation you have because some people report having it while on SSRIs.
Bob has really been very kind and has touched me a lot.
I'm the only Brazilian who write on this. I did it because there's nothing in Portuguese such as what you're all doing.
All we have on the WEB is the Pharma data spread everywhere.
I feel very lonely so sharing with you all of this is good.
I'm 49. People say I don't look like 49... blah blah blah... beautiful yadda yadda... it doesn't touch me.
I rather being recognized as a "remarkable human being".
Thank you Fiddy for that!
It bring tears to my eyes because
I'm very emotional lately and, dear Lord!, I don't understand why people seems or behave in such a selfish way.
I have to take care a little bit because I'm feeling too sad.
It's not my normal mood.
I have sense of humor and I like people.
Adriana Lima is a top model or something?
Poor girl! The amount of cocaine and all the hunger these women have to endure...

susan said...

Ana,

Adriana Lima was the girl in the photo I sent you in the 5 million dollar Victoria Secret bra.

She reminds me of you- both beautiful Brazilian women!

Ana said...

I remember the bra but not the woman. I'm pushing 50! She is a girl.
It seems to me that someone has forbidden getting old. Botox, plastic surgery and many miracle promises to avoid wrinkles, flaccidity.
I don't mind about the looks but I fear not being able to do things I do.
I see old people walking slowly at the streets and I think I will not be very patient.
I remember my grandma and she had energy to do things but her body didn't follow her desires.
She used to be very upset needing help from time to time.
I always thought that I would not like to live too much time.
I'm not suicidal, lol!
But isn't it unfair to loose your health and your body functions after all we've been through?
Life is hard for everybody and as an award there comes physical problems.
My two grandfathers died very young both from heart attack. One of them at 45 years old.
I always thought I would die at this age and I never saw death as something to fear. I never understood why some people fear death and there are those who would like to be immortal.
Why am I writing all of these? I should write a post on this.

susan said...

write the post beautiful ana.

fix yourself something to drink by your side, and write write write. Or type type type!

Lol.

Holly says Meow to Nell. She says Nell will know what it means.

Ana said...

Wow!
I don't know what has happened but I gave Holly's message to Nell and she's running around the room searching for something.
lol

Fiddy said...

"Bob has really been very kind and has touched me a lot."

*Coughs*

I think we need to work on your English a little :-)

Fid

Ana said...

{blushing}
I want to tell you all, specially Jeremy, that I never met Fiddy. He never came to Brazil and the 3 days I've spent in London I was married and had not a clue that I was going to take any psych-drug.
As you can see, specially Jeremy, there's no possibility whatsoever of any kind of physical contact between Fiddy and me since we never met.
What I meant it that it was touching reading what he wrote.
I apologize to all Fiddy's girlfriends and I promise I will start studying English.
Sincerely yours,
Ana

susan said...

Darn! And I was hoping for a nice romantic story or at least good gossip at 5 am!

I am going back to bed.

Sigh.

Fiddy, your loss. Ana is clearly the girl from ipanema! Lol!

Fiddy said...

LOL

Fid

Ana said...

Susan,
The girl from Ipanema is blond. Isn't it amazing?

LOL